We've had a problem lately in chicago with people jumping off ledges. We've always had a problem with people jumping off ledges in chicago. So many so, that the police have come out with a regulation on how to ahndle a guy on a ledge. You know the patrolman on the beat.

The first point is never go out on the ledge in your uniform.See, the image of authority might justy be the reason they are out there to begin with.

Secondly, you should be very caual and never issue any direct commands to them. Never antagonise them.

And thirdly, and I suppose this is the main point, be completely unsympathetic, because basically they want to be talked out of it.

So I would like to present a Chicago policeman, under this new regulation. He see's a guy on a ledge, he slips into his sport jacket. I think he would probably light a cigarette, and then he would walk out on the ledge, something like this.

"Oh hi, you thinking about jumping, are you. Your first time, is it"

"Me, no I'm on my way to work as a matter of fact. I usually walk around the ledges, I find it helps me to unwind"

"You don't happen to be in advertising by any chance do you?"
"Yeah, it was more than a lucky guess, we get a lot of advertising people out here"
"Which way did you come out by the way, did you come out through the window, or did you come around the corner of the building?"
"No the reason I ask is there two other advertising guys on the south east corner. I thought that maybe.."
"No as a matter of fact I didn't get there names. I think one guy had the Edsel account or something like that"
"You know your drawing a hell of a crowd for a week day. Yes really".
"For the last couple of years jumping has really fallen off. Ha ha ha, I didn't mean it that way"

"No really seriously, you take 1929 for example. You literally couldn't get out on this ledge in 1929"
"No we had people lined up in the corridors just waiting to get out on the ledge. We finally went to that numbered card system like they use in the Butcher shopduring the..."
"Well you see the cart down there, the hot dog stand. That's Sam the hot dog man"
"Hi Sam how are you, how.. I was just telling him, hell of a crowd for a thursday isn't it"
"Listen have you eaten by the way, don't be.. Eh Two Sam"
"You want everything on it?"
"Two with everything Sam"
"No no, to go Sam to go"
"Oh oh oh oh, Something turned you in. You see those guys with the net down there, they're fireman, yeah"
"I'll give you a little tip there. You might kind of edge your way to the corner of the building you see. Then they'll follow you, then you run back here and jump"
"Well they get all confused and they start pulling in different directions.They'll never make it back in time. believe me."
"Don't be silly I'm glad to do it for you"
"Oh listen gee, I really ought to be getting to work you know. I'd love to stay around and catch it."
"Don't be silly, take your own sweet time about it"
"Yeah that is a long way down isn't it."
"You kind of chickening out now eh?. That happens quiite a bit. You have a certain responsibility to those people down there, I. Some of them have been there half an hour or so"
"No it's up to you I mean, if you don't want to, you know you don't have to"
"Well alright, listen I'll get in and then you follow me okay"
"One.. Now where the hell did he go"





